


Not A Joy Ride

by Gepardo



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gepardo/pseuds/Gepardo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle tries to teach herself to drive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Joy Ride

Belle sneaked out of the pink palace, keeping herself from giggling as she made sure Rumple was down in his lab. For what she had timed, he stayed there for at least an hour, and that was all she needed. That and his car keys. Quickly making her way to the sparkling black Cadillac, she was careful of the noise she made as she got in and closed the door. She sat there for a few minutes, getting familiar with the old car and telling herself that she could do this. Taking the keys, she was about to put them in the ignition when a voice startle her.

“You ain’t got a license, sweetspark”

She gasped and looked around with wide eyes, expecting to see Rumple, though the voice certainly hadn’t match at all. Taking a deep breath to calm herself and glaring at nothing in particular. “Come on, Belle, you are just scaring yourself. This is not a yaoguai…”

“I don’t care if I am not a yaoigay-e thing, you ain’t driving me.” Belle eeped and stared, the radio’s back light had turned on, the needle moving back and for as the voice spoke up again. That was not normal, the key was still in her hand. Damn it.

“….Figures Rumple would have an enchanted car…” She shook herself, calming her very quickly beating heart. 

“I ain’t enchanted! I am enchanting, charming, even sauve, yes, but there ain‘t no funky magic smoke anywhere near me unless that crazy lizard is sitting in the driver‘s seat.”

“Shhhh, keep your voice down” She sighed and looked back towards the house, nothing seemed to be stirring thought. “Look, I just want to surprise Rumple.”

“By what? Driving me into a tree? ”

“I read the driver’s manual!” Belle glared, thought she wasn’t sure where to.

“Reading and doing are two different things, sweetspark. This is a stick shift” It wiggled besides her. “And I ain’t cool with your grinding my gears.”

“Well, you are an enchanted car, couldn’t you stop me if I was about to drive into a tree or grinding your gears?”

“I could…and I am not enchanted.”

“Then I can teach myself to drive just fine.” Belle put the key in the ignition. The keys refused to turn and Belle raised an eyebrow. 

“Didn’t the lizard said he’ll teach you?”

“He keeps putting it off” Belle pouted. “Besides, when he DOES teach me, imagine the surprise he’ll get when I can drive just fine?”

“I am not sure about this…” 

“Please? You obviously can drive yourself if you want to, if I do something wrong, you can correct me. You are magic car, you are the perfect teacher!” Belle paused. “Wait, why didn’t Rumple just asked you to teach me to drive?”

“…I am not a magic car.”  The whole car shook a little. “And we discuss it, he didn’t want me revealing myself to anyone.”

“Great job at that.” Belle giggled softly then frowned. “If you are not a magical car, then what are you? A human? Did Rum turned you into a carriage back home?”

“You were trying to drive me! Without the lizard!” It grumbled. “I could very well had finish all dented up and you with a broken something and then I’ll get caned on the hood! Or my head!” Belled rolled her eyes a bit at that and blinked as the Cadillac logo changed to a different one. “I am not a human, I am an autonomous robotic organism.”

“A what..?” She knew what the words meant, at least the common definition, but it didn’t make sense together.

“I am a robotic alien!”

“Whu…” Belle felt her grasp on the situation being undone further and further.

“Maybe I should sound the alarm…” There was concern in the car’s voice.

“No…no…I just…how did you ended here?” 

“That’s a long story, but the short version is I crash landed in the old lizard’s castle after going through a wormhole.” He paused. “…do you know what wormhole is?”

“A hole made by a worm?” Belle didn’t like to feel ignorant, she was quiet sure she got it wrong, thought. Perhaps it was time to read up on the universe.

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

“This is too weird….I am talking an alien that is car…”

“Would this make you feel better?” The voice didn’t come from the all around her, but from the passenger’s seat, where there was a dark skinned woman with long black hair and a very revealing dress. 

“Aren’t you a boy?” She should be asking how he was doing that, but her focus was a little shaky now.

“Yes, your point being, sweetie?” The obvious male voice coming from the female body was disconcerting. “Oh alright, let see…how about this?” The woman turned into Rumplestiltskin in his best suit, but the eyes were brilliant blue. 

“That’s just disturbing.” 

“There ain’t no winning with you.” The fake Rumple spoke with a voice that didn’t fit and without his usual brogue. The form disappeared to be replace by a dark skinned gentleman that was just as wirey and lean built as her Rumple. The hair and clothes were something she hadn’t seen in storybrooke, but then again, she hadn’t heard anyone speaking like him either. 

“How do you keep doing that?” Belle poked at the form, but her fingers went through it. “An illusion?”

“Something like that. Its called a hologram. You should read up on your sci-fi.” The man looked at her, continuo to pull her hand in and out of his chest. “…..Stop that.”

Belle blushed and sat back in her seat. “Sorry…” She looked at him for a moment before turning the car keys. The old Cadillac’s motor came alive and the man’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“Did you just..?”

“Turned you on? Yes.” She smiled innocently. “Now, are you going to teach me how to drive?”

The motor died. “No.”

Belle frowned. “Why not?”

“You are very cool cat, but if that lizard finds out I been letting you take me joy riding, he gonna dent my whole hood with that damn cane of his.” He pouted. “I ain’t cool with that.”

She hugged the steering wheel and pouted at the illusion. “Pleeeeeeease?” 

“No.” He folded his arms and pointedly looked away from her. No, he needed to fall for the puppy look Ruby had taught her! Frowning, Belle tapped the steering wheel lightly as she tried to find a way to convince a car to let her drive. This had started as such a simple quest.

“You are Rumplestiltskin’s car…” She said slowly, watching as the man glared at her. “Well you technically are.” She gave an appeasing smile. “…would you care for a deal?”

The bright eyes seemed to take measure of her. “…well, I ain’t been hand washed and polish in a while…”

Belle frowned. “…is that a sexual thing to you?”

He let out an exasperated breath. “Why does everyone jump to that. No, it ain’t sexual, its like…like….” He waved his hands, trying to find the words, blue eyes suddenly becoming brighter and glowing for a second. She wonder what he was doing, but they dimmed down before she could ask. “…its like a full body massage.”

“Oh…” Belle smiled. “ Okay, how about that in exchange of driving lessons?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Just one?”

“You really are his car…” She giggled. “I don’t know how long it will take me to learn, so how about one wash for each week of teaching.”

“And a polish.”

“That’s given.” Belle smiled. “So do we have a deal?”

He gave her a look of suspicion. “He can’t know you know about me.”

“I promise I won’t tell until he tries to teach me how to drive…” She saw the frown. “I’ll keep him from caning you.”

“Fine…We have a deal.”

“Good!” She tried to turn the key again but it wouldn’t. “I thought we had a deal…”

“And we do. However, my sensors are telling me the old lizard’s vitals aren’t jacked up anymore, so he ain’t using magic….” He waved his hand.

“Oh!” Belle checked the time and frowned. “Tomorrow night then?” She got a quick nod before getting the keys and leaving the car. She paused to see the hologram leave and bent down to give the hood a little kiss and murmured a thank you before fleeing into the house, missing the rumbling tremble of the Cadillac.  


End file.
